When you are waiting on your own marriage restoration from God, it can seem like a long wait time. Here are ways to wait well.
Marriage Restoration Guide
Waiting on God’s Promises
You may be thinking to yourself – “what do you meaning, ‘waiting well’? Waiting is waiting.
Friend, waiting well on God’s promises for marriage restoration is not just “waiting”. After all, God does not waste any opportunity even during the time you are waiting.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. -Romans 8:28
In this post, I will cover:
- How God Uses The Time You Are Waiting
- The Difference Between Waiting Well and NOT Waiting Well
- How To Wait Well
How God Uses The Time You Are Waiting
You may be thinking the same as I did that God is taking a long time to restore your marriage. I have learned that our timeline is not God’s timeline.
But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. – 2 Peter 3:8
The good news is though that God does not waste any ounce of your waiting.
He uses your waiting time while you wait for marriage restoration to:
1. Heal
As your marriage disintegrated, there are definitely areas that would need healing. It may be hurts that came from your spouse leaving, having an affair, filing for divorce and even the secondary hurts that you are witnessing from your children.
God uses this time to heal not just your heart but also those that are also affected by your broken marriage. He wants you to be at peace and not act out of anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness when your spouse returns home.
2. Trust Him
I know that when I first started standing in the gap for my marriage, I wasn’t just looking to God to restore my marriage. I was trying to do anything and everything including manipulation and trying out secular ways to save my marriage. God had to tear all of that down to show me that a true marriage restoration that will last, can only come from Him.
During this waiting process, the Lord is showing you how to be in full reliance of Him and only Him. That regardless of your situation and probably the lack of income and the lack of your partner, your needs are still met because He is God.
3. Grow In Your Relationship With Him
While you wait for your marriage restoration, the Lord uses the time to grow in your relationship with Him. You are not just “waiting”. While you wait, start to get to know His character and the kind of God He is. Just like any relationship you have, spend time with Him, not just in prayer but also reading His Word. He will start showing you other areas of your life that He is fixing and He can provide for.
4. Mold You
God is a good God and He does not want you to stay the way you are. While you wait, He molds you to His image.
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! -2 Corinthians 5:17.
If we were to receive what we are praying for, in this case marriage restoration, but still stay the same as when our marriage started falling apart, our restored marriage will not stand and will most likely fall apart again.
I’ve read many marriage restoration testimonies and have discovered that the couples that reverted back to their old ways and did not keep God in the center of their marriage and their lives, their restored marriage did not last. Those were horror stories to me! I vowed that when my marriage is restored it will have God as our center and our firm foundation. If not, we won’t have a guide and eventually our marriage will fall apart again because it will be built on sinking sand.
Matthew 7:24-27, Jesus said “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the flood waters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
The Difference Between Waiting Well and Not Waiting Well
There is a huge difference between waiting well and not waiting well.
Waiting Well is:
*getting to know God while you wait
*trusting Him
*working on yourself and areas of your life that Holy Spirit is convicting you on
*focusing on the ones that God has entrusted you with (kids, parents, siblings, friends)
*serve others
*minister to others
Not Waiting Well is:
*complaining
*not changing
*not spending time with God and getting to know Him
*focusing on just your marriage and not the people that God has entrusted you with
*focusing on your problems
*becoming bitter, angry, unforgiving
Do you see the difference?
Not waiting well could keep you from a restored marriage because imagine if your spouse were to see that you haven’t changed and instead of gaining peace and forgiveness, you held anger and bitterness.
How To Wait Well
So now that you know why waiting well is important for marriage restoration to take place. I’m going to cover the “how” on waiting well.
1. Walk with the Lord
Getting to know the Lord in this time of waiting helps you grow your trust in Him and that He is working everything out for your good and His glory.
Walking with the Lord was not something that came natural to me. In fact, the term “walking with the Lord” was pretty foreign to me until my stand. Initially, I did whine and complain and gripe about my waiting period until I realized that doing all those things was not going to change His mind and I was not going to get my way. Holy Spirit showed me that I was like a baby throwing herself on the floor and throwing a tantrum, not my proudest moment for sure!
If you and I have to wait anyway, we might as well get to know the One who is capable of changing our situation and restoring our marriages. And what does this look like?
This looks like spending time in His Word, praying, worshipping Him, and being in community with other believers.
Here are some items that really helped me with my stand:
2. Worship
During my stand, I have learned that worship removes all the worries I have.
Worship moves your attention from you and your problems to the Lord and His awesomeness. When you worship, there is no room for worry.
I’ve learned that when I am in the victim mentality, or the “poor me” state of mind, I immediately turn my pandora on to worship music and it immediately removes the “ick” from the atmosphere and places me back where I should put my focus on which is the Lord.
3. Witness
When you witness to others, it is not only helping spread the gospel and helping others get to know Christ more – it also helps you!
How so? When you bear witness to what Christ has done for you, you are reminded that He was faithful then, and that He will be faithful to fulfill the promise He has placed in your heart to restore your marriage and restore your husband to Himself.
4. Wear
While you wait, work on your appearance. Now I am not saying alter your looks to make yourself unrecognizable. Not at all! You are beautiful just the way God made you.
There is such a thing a walking around everywhere in your sweats and messy bun (and I know, ever since the pandemic, this has been “the look” nowadays). This look leaves much to be desired. And I get it, I was there! In the beginning of my stand, I just had a baby and I did not feel like dressing up at all!
To work on your appearance takes little time at all, it’s basically
*Brushing your hair
*Putting on a little makeup
*Wearing clothes that are a little more presentable
I’ve found that when I put a little effort in my appearance, I felt more confident and was worthy of the calling God had for me! No longer did I feel like others pitied me because of my circumstance but instead “wow! She’s going through that storm and she doesn’t even look it!”
*This first picture was the beginning of my stand and me now. I know that these pictures may not really describe jeans, messy bun look vs my more polished look now but I looked through my archives back then and I really didn’t take many pictures of me…
Marriage Restoration
Waiting On God’s Promises
Waiting On God’s Promises can be difficult especially when you do no know how to wait well. Waiting on God is completely difference from waiting on someone or something in the earthly realm.
In this blog post, I covered 1) how God uses the time you are waiting, 2) the difference between waiting well and not waiting well and 3) how to wait well.
*Disclaimer: In the name of full transparency, please be aware that this blog post contains affiliate link and any purchases made through such links will result in a small commission for me (at no extra cost for you).
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