How to Find Beauty from Your Ashes
It can be sometimes difficult to find beauty from your ashes. It is especially hard when all you see is a pile of rubble and no sign of life growing from that rubble.
In this post, I will go through how to find beauty from your ashes and how to find God’s goodness even in the midst of a storm.
Where is the beauty from your ashes?
You see no change.
There’s no change in your circumstance.
No change in the husband that you have desperately been praying God to change.
I have thought about this recently as I am now on the 6th year of standing for my husband and my marriage. We are still not restored and please do not let the length of time my stand is taking deter you from what God is calling you to.
We recently celebrated the 4th of July, and as the 3 of us (my husband, my daughter and I) sat on top of our roof waiting to watch a display of fireworks from our surrounding neighborhood, the Holy Spirit reminded me of what the 4th of July was like just 6 years ago.
Six years ago, my husband had moved out of our home and pursued divorce. I was 5 months pregnant. EXACTLY 6 years ago, my suspicions were proved true when I caught him with another woman
I didn’t see a light and every time my memory goes back to that fateful night all I remember is darkness and hopelessness.
Where is the beauty from ashes?
But God!
Fast forward 6 years later – it is a stark contrast to what my life was before. My (ex) husband moved back home as the Lord had promised. The child I was pregnant with is now 5 years old. And there is no other woman. Sure, my husband and my marriage are still not where I have prayed it would be but I am thankful that it is not where it was then!
You might have heard the famous saying “God gives unto you beauty for ashes”? It comes from Isaiah 61:3 (NIV) which states “and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
Friend, do you know what this promise means? Very simply – God is the joy giver. He provides us with joy and peace that goes beyond any human understanding. And although, we may be in the middle of an unfavorable circumstance where we can be overwhelmed by our feelings of sorrow, despair and hopelessness. When we fully give ourselves to God and let Him take control of our circumstances, He will show us a different (more positive outlook) of the storm that we are currently in. It is possible to be in the middle of a raging storm and still find joy and beauty in it.
So HOW can you find beauty from your ashes?
1) The first thing you must do is look up
No, not literally but figuratively. Look up to your Heavenly Father. He knows the beginning from the end of your story, of your marriage. And He is no liar so if He has promised you a restored husband and a restored marriage then gosh darn it, He will deliver! You must be in constant communication and obedience with Him because sometimes what He directs you to may not make sense but He is looking at your ashes from a different perspective than you are. Isaiah 55:8-9. When I have forgotten His promises to me or I become inpatient in waiting, I realize that it is because I stopped looking up.
The difference I have found from 6 years ago to now is that I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father where I can trust Him to take control of my life, my husband’s and my daughter’s life.
I know His Way is the best way whether or not it feels good at the time. Romans 5:3-5 and in this I have peace.
Peace is invaluable. It is one of the few things (feelings) that money cannot buy and God’s peace surpasses all understanding. Philippians 4:7
When you look to your Heavenly Father for direction, for guidance, you can find the Beauty from your Ashes through His eyes
Which leads me to the next place to look:
2) Second thing is look inward
Most of us, will look at our surroundings and circumstance first to find joy, to find something from the external to make our internal feelings change. But the truth is – the joy has to come from within you. Peace has to come from within you.
It starts from the peace you receive from Jesus when you walk in accordance to His will. When you start to trust that God knows what He is doing and knows what is best for you, your spouse, your marriage and your family more than you do.
Then, you will start to see the Beauty from your ashes
When you start to trust Him, you will experience inward unexplainable joy and peace
Circumstances can change
Your surroundings can change
But it still does not guarantee that you will be joyful even after the change
Also – if and when you get to experience that change that you have been waiting for, that can also change
When I think back 6 years ago, I was not happy, I was not joyful. I was empty. Even before my husband had left me, I was not happy. I was expecting my surroundings to change so that my feelings can change but that is just the wrong way to think.
We, as a society, are programmed to expect that this is how we become joyful
When you seek happiness based on your external surroundings, your happiness will flit away. It will not last.
The Lord had to teach me that true joy, the joy that is unchanging despite your circumstances can only come from Him, when you are obedient to Him.
When I found that joy, I was able to be joyful regardless of the circumstances that was and is going on
Your perspective also starts to change. You start to have an understanding that it may take some people (your husband, for example) time to get to where you are with the Lord.
Lastly, to find beauty from your ashes
3) Look at your surroundings
I am so grateful of the change He has done in me that I don’t think my family and I would be where we are had it not been for the work He has done in me.
A few to point out that has changed in my life because of the change the Lord has done in me
1)my daughter knows the Lord. She loves praise and worship and prays during my weekly prayer meetings (when she feels led). I know this may not be a big deal for some people but *heck, she prays better as a 5 year old than I did as a 33 year old!
2)I’m debt free! I always thought debt was ok but as I’ve found out in Proverbs 22:7 “The rich rules over the poor and the borrower is a slave of the lender”. I did not want to be a slave to anyone, anymore including debt!
and of course –
3)My (ex)husband returned back home and is still home. Coming home is one thing but continuing to stay at our home is a whole other vibe! Had the Lord not intervened on my behalf, the old Mary would have kicked this man out again.
These are just to name a few but what I just stated would not be possible had the Lord not grabbed a hold of me and transformed me.
He can do a transformation in you too, friend.
So I challenge you, what beauty can you start to see in your ashes as you look up (to your Heavenly Father), look inward (inside of you), and look around you?
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