Do you want to know how to Stand in the Gap? Below, I will go over the fundamentals of standing in the gap for your husband.
Has God called you to stand in the gap for your broken marriage? Do you know deep down in your heart and soul that you are to continue fighting for your marriage despite the situation it is currently in? In this post I will go over foundational tips when it comes to standing in the gap for your husband and marriage.
Your marriage is broken. Your spouse and you are not seeing eye to eye. So, you feel God calling you to stand in the gap for your husband and your marriage now what? You believe it in your heart that this is God’s will for your life even if everything around you points otherwise! Well you are not alone! God does hold marriages sacred, after all He created the union between man and wife.
Here are the first steps in standing in the gap. It seems simple enough, if you ever fall from standing just get back up and use these steps all over again. Trust me, I have fallen so many times but I would wake up again and continue with these simple steps. The Lord directs the rest, you just have to make the decision to make that first step!. These steps will allow you to have peace and comfort in your heart and soul despite what your circumstances are. I nkow that may not be much of a promise right now but this is where it begins.
FUNDAMENTAL TIPS FOR STANDING IN THE GAP
Let’s look at a few things to consider when standing in the gap:
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Prayer
It seems so simple, yet very profound. It’s a gift for us to openly communicate with our Heavenly Father. Unfortunately, most of us do not go to prayer first. I know I sure didn’t which would lead me to trouble.
In my years of standing, I’ve learned to go to God first before making any decision and before to talking to anyone else about anything that bothered me. When I’ve doubted God’s calling in my life. I’ve gone to Him to show me, to give me some kind of evidence. Unfortunately, I usually do not get any divine signs. However, He does give me a sense of peace almost instantaneously and keeps my feet grounded to not act based on my feelings.
2. God’s Word
As the Bible says in Isaiah 55:11 “So shall my word that be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” If you wholeheartedly want to know God’s will in your life and in your marriage, this is a very crucial step that should not be miss. God will direct your steps as you begin to read His Word daily. As you continue to read His Word, He will also start to change and convict you of the things that also needs changing within you – refining and healing you.
3. God’s voice vs others
Now with reading the Bible also comes getting to know God. It comes hand in hand. Reading the Bible will allow you to know God’s character which in turn will allow you to discern God’s voice vs the enemy’s voice.
Now you may be asking – “why is this important??” Well it’s important because “standing in the gap” is not something that is socially accepted in society. It’s kind of crazy to think God could restore a marriage after a spouse leaves, and/or files for divorce. So not only will there be doubts in your head telling you this will not work but there will also be people (including your spouse) telling you this will never happen. What I’ve found is that what people say: “you will never be restored”, “he will never come back home” is not always the truth, I look to God’s truth. He knows the beginning from the end. Numbers 23:19
4. Allow yourself to feel your feelings
It’s natural to be angry, to be hurt, to be disappointed. However, do not act on your feelings. Do not take it out on anyone including your spouse and the “other person”.
Jeremiah 17:9 –
Instead submit your feelings to God, let Him know how you are feeling, even your feelings towards Him. He can take it! After all, He created feelings. God understands your hurts, your hang ups, your anger, your disappointments.
Talk to a Christian counselor or a Christian friend who understands your stand. This is where tip #2 coincides because although you can confide in a fellow Christian regarding you standing in the gap for your husband and marriage, they do not necessarily agree with your decision and belief in this matter. This is where your relationship with the Lord has to be greater so that you can discern the Lord’s will for your life vs what others (well meaning Christians) say you should do. Now, you can’t blame others if they do not agree with your stance, you just have to have the understanding that God did not call them to this “STAND”, He called you.
Which now brings me to tip #5:
5. Look For a Standing in the Gap Community
This can be quite tricky as standing in the gap communities come and go and even evolve! For example, I was able to find one standing group at a local church; however, that group leader left after one season and was succeeded by another who believed your feelings were the number one priority instead of focusing on God’s word. I have been able to find standing communities:
*by Google searching “how to restore broken marriages”, “standing in the gap”, “intercessory prayer”
*Youtube also has channels such as Rejoice Marriage Ministries and Marriage Revealed Ministries
*Facebook also has great standing communities where fellow standers can encourage one another through various “standing” journeys.
I have been able to connect with (same-sex) standers locally through these platforms. A few standing communities that are still around are and are an amazing resource for encouragement and community are: rejoiceministries.org and marriagerevealedministries.com.
This post was all about the fundamental tips for standing in the gap for your husband and marriage.
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